UPDATE: 12/30/11

Capsule Reviews for November. I also added two more questions to Q&A.

Holy crap, if I never updated again, at least I could still say that my site outlasted POE News.

UPDATE: 11/23/11

Now Jim McCall he was meek and small
And to become a man
He'd have to build himself up tall
With fancy folks and land
He threw some stones at honest friends
And he got himself these things
His children left him and he sneered
"That's what my kindness brings"

And on the south side he got lost
He asked me where to go
In my reply I lied a bit
And said I did not know

UPDATE: 11/19/11

It seems I have to go over this one more time. I apologize to those of you who read this site and don't get involved in the exhausting amount of politics that tend to run in the background, but this is the last chance and last warning to those who do:

A few months ago, I made a rather lengthy update explaining that we have a problem with idiotic, psychopathic, and destructive users. I made the point that while the "lamers" are a problem, what's even worse are people who jump at the first opportunity to tell me that the way I've dealt with them (or the way other members of the community have dealt with them) is wrong and that we either (at the least) should feel bad about ourselves for it or (at the worst) deserve some sort of punishment for it.

I did my best to make it clear that my response to such attitudes, in both that update and a follow-up post on the FlyingOmelette.com Forums, is that I will not, under any circumstances, shed a tear for anyone who is willfully destructive and gets some sort of comeuppance as a result. I will not hang my head in shame, I will not mope in a corner, and I will not get down on my knees and beg forgiveness. Only you are responsible for your actions. If you're going to do stupid things like flooding, stalking, trolling, threatening, harassing, or spamming, then I don't give a rat's ass what happens to you as a result, and my heart will not bleed for you no matter how many "friends" you get to champion your cause, and hell, you can jump off a cliff for all I care.

This also applies retroactively. If you think I'm going to feel bad because some idiot's post got deleted 10 years ago on a board that's been defunct for 9, then you're living in the same fantasy world where DH is Mercury Crusader and nobody on a message board ever plans to prank another message board.

And no, Daryn, I do not expect that this will stop it completely. I just thought I'd give them one last chance to step away from the cauldron.

"The highway ends at the iron fence... where the diesel trucks march by..."

UPDATE: 11/18/11

The Drakkhen Guide is now available in the Drakkhen Shrine! This is a walkthrough for the entire game and includes the ending sequence. And yeah, you might be surprised at how short the game is.

UPDATE: 11/17/11

Because I only had one thing to review and I had a lot to say about it, the October Capsule Review is a bit longer than usual. Next month, I'll go back to being more curt.

I have finally gotten work started on the Drakkhen Shrine. I completely redid the categories since I had made the original index page long ago and realized that some of the categories could be combined (Classes and Characters into one, Manual and Artwork into Scans), and I added a few I needed, like Forum and Other.

However, right now the only sections that work are Music, Forum, and Tips, the latter of which is brand new. As I complete other sections, I will upload them.

I no longer have the links commented out so clicking the other buttons will just result in a 404 for now. Also, the Oddities button no longer links to the old Oddities page because the new page that I will be adding in the near future will compeltely obsolete the old one.

UPDATE: 10/09/11

September Capsule Reviews

Also, MarioBros.net and Realm of Gaming have been added to the Links page. I apologize about the delay in getting those links posted. My life has been very hectic lately.

In the month of September alone I had gone on vacation, had to deal with a family member in the hospital (not serious), and a sick cat (again, not serious, she fully recovered). And this past week we've had family from out-of-town visiting, so there's just been too much going on.

Also, I still don't expect to make a true comeback until 2012. I'm making steady progress with my ongoing home cleanup project, but a lot of the rooms I have left are the large, pain-the-butt rooms which are going to take me at least a week for each to get organized.

I am slowly plugging away on the Drakkhen Shrine on my breaks at work. I have a lot of the walkthrough written and only have 2 gems (out of 8) left to collect before the game ends. Drakkhen is a lot shorter and far less complex than Equinox, so that's why I'm waiting until I have the entire walkthrough finished before uploading it. I'll also have a very significantly expanded Drakkhen Oddities page when I'm all done.

UPDATE: 10/04/11

You know what I find most amusing about the situations I've described here lately? If you find a writer whose work you really like and you want that writer to work for you, do you have any idea what the next step you're supposed to take is?

I'll give you a hint: It's not sending an email or a private message making hostile demands with poor grammar, spelling, and insults. You negotiate a contract and you pay that writer to work for you.

One of the most laughable requests I ever received was some random person who wanted me to ditch my entire website and write reviews only for his website along with some other writers. I politely turned him down, and he proceeded to inform me what a "shame" it was that I wouldn't give up FlyingOmelette.com to go work on his "superior" project.

My site may be a lot of things, and not all of them are good, but at least it's not GameFAQS Clone #4572 and nobody involved in it is just another unpaid worker on an assembly line.

(Don't worry, I'll get this all out of my system eventually. But at this point, it should be getting pretty darn clear why I needed this hiatus.)

UPDATE: 10/03/11

And now the third and final "Changes to FlyingOmelette.com" rant: The YouTube Problem.

This one may not really apply to most of my readers, but since a lot of my YouTube videos have a link back to this site, I'm guessing (or perhaps overestimating) there's a possibility people click those links and will see this.

Now, folks, repeat after me: "YouTube is NOT in real time. When I watch a video on YouTube, I solemnly swear to check the date of when the video was uploaded because I fully understand that just because a video exists there, it doesn't mean that the person who made it is constantly doing what the video displays."

About 5 years ago, I posted a few videos of me playing Airforce Delta Strike just to share with people what the game was like. For some BIZARRE UNKNOWN REASON, that game, of all games, has taken a randomly dramatic increase in popularity over the past year, and I was getting bombarded with all kinds of requests involving it - everything from replaying it, to uploading more videos, to posting the soundtrack, to reviewing it on someone's podcast, to working on a website for it. At first, I either would ignore or turn down all these offers/suggestions, because although I found it slightly annoying, people weren't necessarily being rude about it. But then, in the past two months, the name-calling and repeated badgering started.

I don't really *get this*. I have videos of me beating every level of Crash Bandicoot (sans one that I accidentally lost the file for) and, although I'm positive Crash is a much more popular series than Airforce Delta, somehow it either doesn't have as big of a fanbase, or they aren't a bunch of loudmouthed assholes. The thing is, people, if you look at the date those AFDS videos were posted, you'd see they're from years ago, and if nothing new from that game has been posted by the user in almost 5 years, then there is a good chance they are no longer playing it! And when those videos are linked to a site that is clearly on hiatus due to the webmaster having too many personal issues at the moment, then there is a pretty fucking good chance she is not going to be willing to drop everything she's doing at the moment, just so you can watch her make a polygonal plane do a loop-de-loop!

My solution to this issue was to shut off all the comments on all the AFDS videos. (Those who were playing nicely, you can blame the idiots for it.) So far, it's worked. But if this bullshit continues in any way, shape, or form, then don't come whining to me (see the 10/1 update below) when you're featured on "Adventures in YouTube Comments/Messages" in the RAU Gallery.

UPDATE: 10/02/11

Today's FlyingOmelette.com subject of discussion is: Site Suggestions and Criticism.

In the past, I'd like to say I was generally open to suggestions and criticism. But there are a couple of problems with this. The first is that I often get complaints that are either ridiculously stupid (such as a guy who heckled the site multiple times because he didn't want any NES music in the downloads section), or requests that are impossible for me to fulfill ("Dear FO, please create the most beautifully hand-drawn webcomic that ever existed, k thnx, bye").

The second problem is that, and I'd be lying not to say this to you right now, due to time constraints and lack of interest on my part, most changes people suggest, no matter how nice or hostile you are about it, probably will not be made. I know some of the old reviews are terrible, but with some rare exceptions (I rewrote my Kid Icarus and Heroes of the Lance reviews recently), I would probably just rather let them sit then go back and redo them all. I do not have the time or motivation to run a webcomic so let's bury that hatchet once and for all. No matter what your reasons are, and even if you believe strongly that they are infallible reasons, it's simply not going to happen and you need to get over it. Period.

One problem that always comes up is that no matter how dumb or unreasonable the suggestions are, I always get told, "But you HAVE to listen to criticism! It's the only way to improve!" Really, people, it's okay sometimes to reject criticism and suggestions. If I seriously spent as much time going back and changing things as people seem to want me to, then this site would never move forward.

Let's also discuss a very good point that was brought up on the forums recently.

Earlier in the year there was a huge blow-up on the forums that culminated in a shouting match with people on one side yelling at the other that they "aren't really FO's friends", I guess because they don't support the idea of me going back over the site and making all kinds of changes to things every single time such a request pops up. But here's the thing - if you're making suggestions for this site, take a look at your email or post and see if this is what you've done:

"Sometimes when people criticize this website, constructive or otherwise, they have a tendency to use pronouns "us" and "we" instead of "I" and "me"...Using "us" and "we" makes it sound like you're speaking on behalf of the entire community, not just offering your own opinion. "

It wasn't until this was suggested by forum moderator Junus Crowe that I realized it's the whole reason these situations tend to blow up like that. By saying "We want to see more of this and less of that" and "show us more of this and less of that", you're not just offering your own personal viewpoint. Whether intentional or not, you're taking it upon yourself to speak for the entire community, and thus are inviting people to counter-criticize, because generally speaking, people don't like it when words are put in their mouths. This is also highly-confusing to me because I honestly have no idea what goes on outside the forums, who collaborates with who, who emails each other, or goes to other boards or chatrooms, or whatever. I don't know who "us" and "we" represent and thus my mind will automatically assume it means the whole board feels that way. Frustrating for everyone involved.

So from this point on, if any suggestions/criticism is made using "us" and "we" instead of "I" and "me", I will ask for all parties involved to be clearly defined, and if you can't define anyone besides yourself, I'm gonna have to push your post/email to the wayside. If you feel strongly about something, be honest about it being your own opinion. Don't try to canvas it across everyone else.

As for those of you who have been biting at the bit for the completion of the AT Storyline in the RAU Gallery... I'm not sure what to say at this point except that lately all my motivation to continue it has been sapped. The script is complete, and maybe by the end of the year I'll come to a decision as to whether or not I'll make the script, sans pictures, available only to those who are interested in it. Or if enough people show interest, and by "enough", I mean more than just the five staff members of DHN, I'll try to find time to complete the drawings.

But they won't be "the most beautifully hand-drawn" pictures ever, and you'll just have to live with that.

UPDATE: 10/01/11

FlyingOmelette.com has some problems that need to be addressed. If FlyingOmelette.com is to move forward, then BIG CHANGES will be a'comin', and no amount of complaining about them will change my mind this time. This time, it's for real.

The first problem I will address today is nothing new. It's something that's been lingering around since even before there was a FlyingOmelette.com in the community to speak of. That problem is...

People who make contributions, then cop an attitude that basically says: "Now that I've done all this hard work for your website, I expect that you will make each and every change to anything and everything that I demand you to make in return."

This attitude usually extends beyond the borders of the website itself and into the forums and onto me, personally.

You may or may not be aware that earlier in the year a frequent site contributor ended up stalking me across another website because I refused to force the forums to stop using the words "crazy" and "insane", because this person found those words offensive to some unidentified special interest group that she was vaguely representing.

The great thing about people in this category is that they invariably ignore the fact that this site is owned and written by a comedy writer/satirist, and that its immediate fanbase is comprised of even more comedy writers/satirists. So, when they go and do incredibly stupid things like this, and then get made fun of for it, their next tactic is to turn around and whine incessantly, or have their friends come to us to whine incessantly, that we're hurting them.

In the case of the stalker situation, I was accused by an acquaintance of hers of "punching people in the face" and was told that a horde of YouTube users were going to kill me because I made fun of it. A laughable threat, I know, and it's not even the first time I've had someone threaten to send YouTube users to kill me, so it must be some sort of internet fad, but regardless, I'm not going to feel sorry for you. If you jump into a lion's den wearing an outfit made out of raw meat, you're gonna get torn into. That's the way it is and if you have some ridiculously outlandish personal or political agenda to push, do not use this forum, website, or me as your proving grounds, and if you choose to do so anyway, then no amount of whining will cause me to shed a tear for you if something like this, this, or this happens as a result.

Also, any site contributor who pulls a stunt like this will have their name removed from this site. You read that right, I said "name", because whether or not I remove your actual contributions will depend on how important they are. If they're important, such as information on a game for a shrine, I'll probably keep them up, but if they're not so important they'll go in the garbage. Normally, I believe strictly in giving credit where credit is due, but if you attempt to strip me of my rights, then I won't think twice about stripping you of yours. If you want to be sure that your name will always accompany your contributions, then do not contribute to this site under the pretense of using it to push your own personal brand of fascism.

Speaking of which, if anyone happens to notice a submission on this site from any of SlayerX's known alternate usernames, can you please send me an email with a copy-paste of the submission and a link to the page? I'm not asking anyone to comb through the whole site looking for them, I already know of a few he slipped by me that I need to tackle, but just if you happen to be browsing a page and spot one. I'm gonna try to get rid of that cancer once and for all.

UPDATE: 9/11/11

Two new questions answered in Q&A. If I have anything at all to respond to in my inbox, I'll try to keep to a schedule of updating Q&A every Sunday. I couldn't last week because I was on vacation, but I'm back now.

UPDATE: 9/10/11

Capsule Reviews for August 2011 are done!

UPDATE: 8/7/11

Look at that, I got the Capsule Reviews for July 2011 done in the beginning of the month instead of near the end for once.

UPDATE: 7/24/11

I added the Capsule Reviews for June 2011.

I also added Glitch Gamer to the Links page.

Uh, while we're on the subject of Links... I've noticed lately that some of the sites I'm linked with have mysteriously removed their links page and no longer seem to have a link going back here anywhere that I could find. I'm trying not to be an ass about this, but if you find your site removed from my Links page and/or Memory Card by next month, that might be the reason why.

FlyingOmelette.com is not dead, but I'm still considering myself on hiatus until I finish up some projects I'm working on.

UPDATE: 6/19/11

I added the Capsule Reviews for May 2011.

Sorry, I got lazy about updating the RSS feed. I'll try to keep up on it better now because the updates have been few and far between lately, so that way if you subscribe to it, you don't have to check back every single day to know if there's been an update.

UPDATE: 5/22/11

I added the Capsule Reviews for April 2011.

I thought I would be ready to make a grand return this week, but apparently, I'm not. Sorry to keep dragging this out.

UPDATE: 5/14/11

Small glimmer of hope - I bought a laptop so that I can finally write material for this site on my breaks at work again. Hopefully, that will help, otherwise I just flushed $200 down the drain (and another $25 for the case).

UPDATE: 5/12/11

So, yeah, lately I've been contemplating what to do about this site. I just haven't had much time for it and even when I do, I haven't felt much like working on it. Hate to say this, but it's kind of been interfering in my personal life, too. I wish that wasn't true, but I'd be lying to say otherwise.

I thought maybe if I just let it sit for a few months (perhaps even a whole year) and then come back, maybe I'd find the enthusiasm I once had for writing for it again.

I do want to make it clear, however, that everyone with a subdomain has nothing to worry about. I'm not taking the site down, and if there ever came a time when I could no longer keep the domain for some reason, I would give everyone ample warning and time to move.

So, I may not be updating much, but half the subdomains haven't updated in ages, either.

UPDATE: 4/14/11

Here I am, on the road again
There I am, up on the stage
There I go, playin' star again
There I go, turn the page...

UPDATE: 4/12/11

I love my site tracker.

(I really need to install a blog on this site...)

UPDATE: 4/10/11

Added the March 2011 Capsule Reviews, and updated the Links page.

Still feel like I need to break from this place for at least another week. Not sure what this place's future is...I can't promise anything right now.

UPDATE: 3/14/11

I finally finished my 2011 January and February Capsule Reviews. Sorry it took so long, but in case you missed it when it was in the Port Saiid Pipeline, my PC of 6 years of age died and I had to put the site on hiatus until I got a new computer and sorted things out with it.

Also, the reason there isn't as much for February as there was for January is because I had a health problem that forced me to scale back to running only 30 minutes a night instead of a full hour (which, as you may know, is when I watch the DVD's I end up reviewing), but I'm all healed now so I'm back to my normal pace.

Expect a full review of Resident Evil 4 in the coming weeks, as well as another brand new RAU Gallery sketch (which I actually started writing before the one below, but it's been much harder to finish due to the drawings required for it). And yeah, I'm posting this as 3/14's update because I seriously doubt I will actually update tomorrow.

UPDATE: 3/13/11

Taking a break from my extended hiatus to bring you... RAU Gallery: Adventures in Email #3! (And I swear I did not make up the email in that sketch!)

UPDATE: 2/5/11

I finally got the December Capsule Reviews completed, as well as a "2010 Year in Review" at the bottom of that article.

Do you ever find yourself doing things that later you end up hating every square inch of your very being for doing? And the worst part is, you never learn your lesson and end up doing it all over again. Why do I keep doing this? Can someone please tell me?

UPDATE: 1/30/11

Questions #217-222 in Q&A are all new. After months of nothing, I got quite a few submissions all in one week. I replied to a few of them by email because I wasn't 100% sure when I'd get around to posting them, so that's why some of them already have replies.

I'm going to try to get the December 2010 Capsule Reviews done soon...

UPDATE: 1/1/11

Well, the votes are in and the poll is closed and it looks like Port Saiid will be making a triumphant return as this site's official forums.

However, I've decided I won't be ditching the new forums entirely. While it's highly unusual for a site to have two different message boards associated with it, I'm not exactly running the most normal site in existence. I find that having one forum on Port Saiid for posting anything related to this site whatsoever to be too much of a hassle when making updates. For example, if someone posts something about Equinox in that forum, and I later want to add it to the Equinox Shrine, I have to sift through tons of unrelated threads to find it again, which is time-consuming and makes things easy to miss.

On the other hand, I don't want to overload Port Saiid with a ton of site section-specific forums that won't get much activity. Therefore, it seems logical to create the site-specific forums at the new board and leave Port Saiid as it is.

This is a pretty big project, though, and I might be working on it for some time...

Also, there's a new Port Saiid Pipeline, which should start working any time now. I added my new board and Incognito's board to the feeds.



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