Oddities 4: The Case of the Graveyard Duck

Castlevania 2: Simon's Quest

Graveyard Duck Most Helpful Hints (aka The Case of the Graveyard Duck):

Castlevania 2 is one of those games people seem to either love or hate. Many people have pointed out that it was nearly impossible to figure out what to do, because of the really badly translated clues and dialogue. Nintendo Power called the bad translations "false clues". I really don't know if they were intentionally meant to be false, but when the real clues make little to no sense, you certainly don't need false ones! Simon's Quest was a game that I thoroughly enjoyed, but even I had scratched my head once or twice at the various quips made by the villagers and clue books, and wondered what planet these people were on. (Actually, at first I thought it was just me. I'm glad I found out later on that other people had noticed it.) Let us take a look at some of these riddles: 

Clues that are blatantly wrong!
(I put what you're really supposed to do underneath!)

Hit Deborah Cliff with your head to make a hole
Kneel with the Red Crystal at Deborah Cliff for 5 seconds to summon a tornado.
A flame is on top of the 6th tree in Denis Woods
The flame is actually in a wall on Dabi's Path.
Dig up the 4th grave in the cemetery for a diamond
A  man waiting at the end of the cemetary gives you the diamond.
To restore your life, shout in front of the church
No, dummy, you actually have to go in the church!

Bad Translations?

A flame flickers inside the ring of fire
And she sells seashells by the seashore!
Get a silk bag from the graveyard duck to live longer
Is that any relation to the Cemetary Goose?
You now prossess Dracula's rib
Prossessing things used to be my hobby, but I gave it up. Too much stress!
A symbol of evil will appaer when you strike the stake
Note to Self: Do not strike stake, for symbol of Evel shall appaer!

The "Uhhhh..." File

Laurels in your soup enhances its aroma
Umm...okay. I'll remember that next time I have a craving for chicken noodle.
Destroy the curse and you'll rule Brahm's Mansion
Really? Ruling Brahm's Mansion wasn't on my priority list.
After Castlevania I warned you not to return
Great! Now we're referring to the previous game by its title!
Take my daughter, please!!

Uhhhhhhhhh......let me think about that....No.

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