Oddities 47: Random Reader-Submitted Stuff

Tetris 2 (NES)

Is it a leg, or...? Submitted by jup.

The NES game I am referring to is called Tetris 2. It's used as background for the 20-something rounds. It looks like a cave drawing of a monkey...and everything is VERY OBVIOUS. At the front, there are these arching arms with hands on them. At the top of the arch is a shape that looks very much like a head with ears. Attached to the head is a VERY slender looking body. At the back of the body are two hind legs with what looks like feet at the bottom. Behind these legs is a LONG tail that goes up into the air and swirls around several times. AND THEN, between the beginning of the tail and the two hind legs IS THIS OTHER THING. (Gee...how can I put this?) It's straight, long (as long as the legs) and has a bit of a tip where a third foot MIGHT HAVE GONE. From the look of the thing, I'd say that any females HE'D meet up with WOULD BE VERY SATISFIED, indeed.

I imagine that since it's an official NES game called Tetris that the rating would be E. Yet, this is semi-clearly artistic porn...in a Nintendo game WITH censorship SUPPOSEDLY in effect.

FO's Verdict: The monkey background for Tetris 2 is based on the Nazca line drawings. (Run on a search on it for proof.) It would appear another shape meets up with the monkey drawing at that point and Nintendo's failure to remove it from the image resulted in the unintentional phallic hilarity. However, there is nothing pornographic about the image at all. The other two Tetris 2 backgrounds are also based on Nazca line drawings, the bird and the spider. (The bird is to the right, here is the Spider Drawing.) If you've played Illusion of Gaia, you might recall that Will and his friends visited the Nazca Plain and saw the great bird drawing. The arcade classic Xevious also used them.

(Information in this section contributed by Deathamster and Dire 51.)

Final Fantasy 6

Is it a lamp, or... Submitted by Ben Epperson.

Have you ever noticed how the twin lamps in Final Fantasy 6 look like a pair of breasts? In the art gallery, before you rescue Relm, there is a picture of the lamps. And when the character selects it, it says lamps I guess?

FO's Verdict: Looks like the actual wording is, "A lamp, maybe?" I have no idea if the resemblance to the female anatomy was intentional or not, but if it was, it looks like it slipped by the Nintendo censors.

Pokemon Gold/Silver

Submitted by Seeraks.

There is a weird disease called Pokerus. It has absolutely no effect on the Pokemon it infects (as far as I know), and it goes away on its own. But that’s just the thing. In the early stages, it would occur all the time, but I’ve restarted multiple times throughout the years, and it no longer occurs, even in my new files. Can you tell me what the deal with this is?

FO's Verdict: According to several sources I've researched, it doubles the Pokemon's earned experience points. Yeah, weird. A virus that actually does something good with no ill effects. Wonder what they'll think of next?

Final Fantasy 7

Submitted by Seeraks.

I have a few notes on this game, and one big shocker, but let’s do the notes first:

1. Tifa’s breast size is very inconsistent.
FO's Note: Maybe they're inflatable.

2. There are multiple spelling/grammar errors.
FO's Note: Like that infamous Aeris line, "This guy are sick"?

3. A barrage of bullets from Shinra soldiers have no effect on Aeris, but a single blow from Sephiroth’s sword kills her instantly.
FO's Note: Refer to Things We've Learned From RPG's. The only time RPG characters can ever actually be hurt by anything is during dramatic cutscenes.

4. Shinra attempted to mate Aeris and Red 13, which is just plain sick.
FO's Note: After the marriage of Terry (a wolfman) and Amelia (a human) in Breath of Fire, I guess nothing surprises me anymore.

Here is my shocker: In Cosmo Canyon, Red 13 describes himself as the last of his kind. But after you beat the game, you see 500 years into the future, where he has children. How is this possible?
FO's Note: Maybe #4 was successful after all...

Site Reader Ralph.Nieuw's Note: In a certain point in FFVII, Bugenhagen dies. If you return to Cosmo Canyon and talk to him, he'll tell something about Red XIII not being the last of his kind, and when it's all over, he should find a woman and mate. It would give some pretty damn misshapen kids if Hojo's mating procedure worked.

FO's Note: Ah, the things that can be explained through easily-missed optional dialogue bits.

FO's Verdict: RPGs are weird.

Smackdown! Here Comes the Pain (PS2)

Submitted by Seeraks.

This is a special little tidbit, FYI. In this game, there is one storyline where you gain a diva as a manager, and if everything is done right, you get to kiss her. But if you make a female character in create mode, classify her as a man, and play as her, then the result is: a lesbian kiss!

FO's Verdict: I find the fact that you can "classify" a female character as a "man" weirder than the lesbian kiss...

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